The human mind is a very powerful organ. I believe that everything a man thinks about in his life might not be real, correct or practical, but is definitely necessary to think about at that moment. And that is how life keeps going. One man’s reality might be other man’s illusion, but there is one common reality, and which I have just learned about. I am Manuj and this is my story.
As a child, I was definitely not one of the brightest ones, but I definitely was different, or rather indifferent, or rather mostly confused. Being brought up in a city has its own advantages and disadvantages, and I had been a victim of both the kinds. But being brought up by a loving family definitely cuts it off from the negative side. My parents always took great care of me, the single child, and tried to instill in me all the qualities a good human being must have, and were definitely successful to a large extent. But the real world is a great teacher, and though, to me the real world only meant my school and the colony I lived in, it was more than sufficient to instill in me the qualities a real human being must have. And so, there I was, a growing kid, learning things, both good and bad, at each step of life.
Till the age of 13, I was a decent student, and I always used to get the 10th rank in my class. That way, I was neither out of the toppers’ list, nor in it. But my parents were satisfied with who I was, and there was never a pressure on me from their side. And so it went on like this. It was at that age, that I realized that I wanted to become an Architect when I grow up. I do not remember what it was that created this ambition in me, but it was a very strong one, and I was ready to do anything for it. I told everyone about it, and almost every single soul who knew me, had to listen to the story of my future at least once. I dreamt of success, fame, excellence, satisfaction and extreme wealth. My parents were always supportive of what dreams I saw, and encouraged me to look at them as not mere dreams, but goals. Apart from the dreams of career and success, there was yet another dream I used to see, a lot more frequently and strongly, and that I never talked about to anyone but myself. It was a dream to find an angel in human form- someone who would love me from the deepest corners of her heart, who would be ready to do anything for me and who would be the world and life to me. And this dream, though blur, was the most beautiful dream I’ve ever had.
And so, I grew, into a loving son, an ambitious lad and decent performer. During the final few years of my school life, I came to know about the best schools of Architecture in the country, and the roads that lead to them. And I must say, the roads never appeared easy and short. But I decided that no matter what it takes, I’ll put in my best and fulfill all my dreams. ‘All my dreams’- funnily I knew that there were well defined ways to become an Architect, but there were no well defined ways to find my perfect soul-mate. And so, realizing that this was a dream that only destiny could make real, I decided to let it go, or rather suppress it, because destiny, as a concept never appeared real to me. And so, I began to put in my best, with all my goals in mind. And that is how a 10th ranker climbed to the top three, within no time at all. My parents were very proud of me when I got home a series of awards of excellence, one after the other, every time bigger than the earlier one. My father was a clerk in bank, and though I was well aware of the fact that my dreams might require more financial assistance than he could offer, he tried his level best to never let such a thought cross my mind. At the age of 16, during my final year of school, my mother got extremely ill, and it was only a few days before my competition exams that she could not even get off the bed by herself. But somehow she managed to keep me away from the tension that would be created in my mind if I came to know this, by covering me with a shield of misinformation. She left the city at the very beginning of her illness, saying that she was going to visit my grandparents, and I never knew how ill she was for those few weeks when I sat at home, studying for my exams.
By the time I passed out from school, I had earned myself admission offers from almost all the top architecture institutes in the country. My mother had recovered from illness, and the whole family was dancing with joys and celebrations over my success. The dreams I had seen and the goals I had set did not appear too far now. But while the whole family appeared to be happy and relaxed, my father had a huge burden in his head, thanks to me. The college I had decided to get in, one of the best in the country, had financial demands that far surpassed my father’s income, and so he went from place to place, borrowing and arranging money, so that the dreams of an ambitious son could be made to come true. But again, I was completely unaware of this, and life seemed to be going perfect. And this is how I got into college, leaving my father under the load of debt and my mother amidst the sorrow of loneliness.
College life went pretty well for me, and I can go on for ages describing how much fun I had in there. I made some of the best friends ever and also learnt some of the biggest lessons ever. I came face to face with the harsh real world and imbibed in myself the strength and cleverness required to not just survive here, but to rule. Night-outs at the canteen, liquor parties on the hostel terrace, last-night stands before the exams, night-long gossip sessions and a million other things made college life some of the best days ever. On the other hand, my father got a promotion and cleared away all the debt he had on him and my mother was healthy and happy, and it was then, that they told me of all that had happened during my days of preparations and admissions, and I cried for days in my hostel’s room when I realized the sacrifices my parents had made for me, and I couldn’t do anything but love them even more and be grateful to them over my life. But now, everything seemed to be going so smoothly that I had never been happier in life than I was during those days. But something unexpected and far more beautiful happened in college, which I can never forget. One day, while my friends and I were off to a party, and were at heights of enjoying ourselves, throwing our hands off in the air as an excuse for what people call dancing, I saw a girl standing away from the crowd, all alone, with a glass full of soft-drink in her hand, smiling to herself. The moment I saw her, all my body movements stopped, and I felt as if I had seen the most beautiful creation of God on this earth. I could not resist myself from approaching her, and asking her to dance with me. Surprisingly, she agreed, and I danced with her, spellbound by her eyes, lost in her beauty and listening to her beautiful voice as she said, “My name in Aashima.” We danced together for hours, and as she left, I somehow gathered the courage to ask for her number and surprisingly, she gave it to me. For the next few months, Aashima and I hung out together a lot, and slowly and steadily, we got increasingly fond of each other, and I had realized that she was, no doubt, the most wonderful creation of God.
It has been more than a year since I passed out of college. The company that I work for currently, is one of the best in the business, and I am one of its highest-paid employees. I bought my parents a very beautiful house last month, and my parents were happier than they have ever been, not because of the house, but because of what I have achieved in life. I’ve been dating Aashima for the past few moths regularly, and she has changed three jobs in the past one year, just to be with me, which I used to think was a highly irrational decision on her part. And I used to think so until one day, when while we were sitting at the terrace of my apartment, she said to me, “Manuj, you have given me so much happiness in life, that even if I die today, I will have no complains, as I have lived my life to the fullest, all because of you.” And as she said this, a tear rolled off her left eye, and another one off my right eye. And it was at this moment when I realized how much I love her, and that I would do anything to spend the rest of my life with her. And I said, “Same here sweetheart, same here. And you know what…I am in love with you!” And while she smiled and cried at the same time, she said, “I love you too Manuj!” and as we kissed each other, not only our lips, but also our souls, melted into one. That was one of the most wonderful days of my life, and made me the luckiest human being on this planet. Last week, we went out shopping together, and in the middle of a jewelry store, I asked her to marry me, surrounded by violin players, amongst a roar of applaud, and she agreed! I told my parents about her long ago, and once they met her, they too fell in love with her. I met her parents too, and though they weren’t sure of me in the beginning, my acts of extreme buttery and persuasion led them into liking me. The few true friends that I made during college are also pretty settled up these days, and are in constant touch with me, and we have regular reunions every now and then, which are, without any doubts, some of the best guys’ night-outs I’ve ever had. Apart from that, my job has begun to appear too small to me lately, and I’ve been trying my level best to get some loan so that I can start a dream company of my own now.
All the dreams seem to be coming true, finally. Wealth and success are on their way, my parents are happy and proud of me, I have found the perfect angel and soul-mate that I had dreamt of, in Aashima, and my friends are also with me. Life seems to be perfect, and simply awesome. In fact, today morning, as I left for the meeting with the finance company that is willing to loan me for my new company, I was thinking about what Aashima had said about “dying today and yet having no complains with life”, and I thought how true it is for me.
On my way to the office of the finance company today, I drove my car really smooth and fine, smiling to myself, filled with euphoria. The traffic was pretty busy on the normal route, so I took the longer way through the famous old bridge of the city. And as I drove through the bridge at a speed of about 60 KMPH, my tyre burst out. I was shocked and afraid as my car slipped to align itself perpendicular to the road. The car stood in the middle of the road blocking any kind of passage through the bridge. Due to some reason, I don’t know what, the door of my car got stuck. I was panicking and I tried to get out through the window. And before I could get out of the car, trying to push myself through the stuck door, I saw the fast moving truck that headed towards me. I cannot explain what went through my mind at that moment, millions of feelings swirled in my mind in a single second, and before I could do anything, I saw the front of the truck only a few inches away from my face. And that was the last thing I saw with open eyes.
A lot has happened since then, I’ve been taken to a hospital, rushed into the emergency ward, been operated on. But all is in vain. And right now, as I lay on the blood covered bed, I cannot breath, and my body has begun to stiff, my nerves clog, my heart beats getting slower, and life seems to be getting sucked out of my body. I know I am dying, and as all this is happening to me, I do not feel the pain anymore, because what goes on in my mind right now is far more consuming than any pain or pleasure in this world. At these final moments, I see faces, of my father, my mother, Aashima and my best buddies. And unlike what I had thought in the morning, I do have complains and unfulfilled wishes as I die. I wish I could see my father only once more and tell him how much he means to me and how much I worship him, I wish I could see my mother only once more and tell her how much I love her and how great a mother has she been, I wish I could see Aashima only once more and tell her once again how she had become my life in such a few days and how much I love her, and I wish I could kiss her one more time and hug her once more and cry in her arms and look into her eyes and say everything I feel for her without even saying a single word, and I wish I could have one more night-out with my friends and tell them how much they mean to me. I know that all of them will be devastated when they come to know of what is going to happen to me now, and I feel helpless to leave them in such a situation. But memories run through my mind at this moment, all the beautiful memories of my life and of moments spent with the ones I have loved, over and over again, millions of times in a single second. And though there have been many of those moments, and the time remaining for me is less here, I wish I had more of such moments. I regret sleeping at nights rather than sitting besides them as they slept, I regret running after money rather than walking with them, and I regret each and every thing that I have done that could have been sacrificed, to be, for one single second, with my dad, mom, Aashima and my friends. I wonder how people say that they will die satisfied and content, because there is so much love and beauty in the world that no matter how much of it you get in life, you’ll always wish you could carry a little more of it with you. And so, I wish only a few more moments with the ones I love. But I guess death does not believe in second chances. It’s time that the breathing stops now, the blood gets cold, the heart stops to beat, the mind stops to think, and everything begins to disappear- the air I felt, the sounds I heard, the sights I saw, and the dreams I saw. Love is all I remember, and love is all I carry with me. Goodbye life!
Comments
Rahul